I must warn you. This is going to be a negative post. This will be a venting of pressure and an avenue to get some garbage off my chest.
The truth is, lately, the battle has been tougher than ever and I’ve lost my footing. It also feels like as soon as I get my footing, here comes another wave to knock me down. Punching the inside of my cube isn’t going to do much except hurt my hand. Although, it’s exactly what I want to do right now.
Let me tell you about my job. I work as a technician in the wireless telecommunications industry. I was one of the first members of an elite team that literally banged out a wireless network for one of the big 4 carriers in a very populated area in the country. A feat that I am proud of.
During the hay-day of my career, I worked with some of the brightest technical minds in the industry. We worked together and jump started something great. Naturally, as the industrial age, our parents, education system and superiors have taught us, we assumed that our day of climbing the ladder would come. We just saw the light and figured we would grow our salaries and eventually be able to retire with a good 401K.
It hasn’t turned out that way. 11 years later, I am still doing the same thing only in a much more hostile environment. The hay-day is long gone. Most of the brilliant minds have moved on to other companies. Our spirits and hopes and dreams have vanished in the cinders and ashes of what used to be a brilliant and glorious display.
As the days and weeks and months go by, my future looks dimmer and dimmer. I am managed by management that doesn’t know me or my strengths. I am working for a company that has no idea I exist. It’s painful because I really did pour my hear and soul into this career.
As I walk backwards in this tunnel and the light at the other end gets smaller and smaller, I often find myself in this level of panic. It creates this sense of urgency that I can’t ignore. I need to make choices that will protect and secure my family. I know wholeheartedly that this career is not the way.
Yet, I battle myself instead of just running forward in leaps and bounds. I find it difficult to break some of my habits. I know I need to find my strengths, passion, resources and opportunity and run with a new set of ambition.
I hope I can find myself out of this holding pattern very soon.
Cheer me on will ya?
